Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Diary of a killer - 杀手的日记

ziyi: Mum mum teacher need us to write diary of a killer.
我心在想为什么老师会出一道这么暴力的题目……
Ziyi: Do you want to read? I write 3 days diary.
我感觉到他为自己完成而感到自满,想到这残暴的杀手画面,我心冷了一下... ...
看完后突然发现我想太多!原来 ... ...
# truly ugly handwriting and somehow i like the story
#chernziyi
《Dairy of a Killer Flying Snake》
Day 1: Sunday (Sunny, like said)
Today I spend the morning swallowing an egg I’ve been stashing. Then I slithered across the mud and dive-bombed from trees. In fact, I accidentally whacked down a baby tree. So much for tree climbing.
At the afternoon, I found a colour-blind bird! (Birds are always colour blind) Time for lunch, I thought, I climbed up a tree, because as stiff as a twig, and dive-bombed. I glided, landed near the bird, and pounced. So yummy and birde-licous.
Lunch was nice, but dinner was nicer. I practically made a buffet when I knocked dizzy two rats! The only things missing is the tomato source, but I have blood instead. I feel like Dracula that night!
Day 2: Monday (Monstrously windy, like said)
Today I left some leftover rat meat on the bottom of the tree, in order to bait some meat to my tree step. Of course, I injected some poison in the rat as a trap.
I waited on the tree, while eating some eggs from a bird’s nest. (I killed the birds first) At the afternoon, a cobra and a rattle snake came to the rat meat. They fought around, while I spat my poison on them (In order to weaken them). After a while, the cobra won. Without a moment to hesitate, I surprised it by diving down to fight him. The cobra, weak from the fight, is easy to kill. Because there’s tree heaps of meat (Cobra meat, rattle snake meat and rat meat). I don’t need to even hunt for dinner!
So this is the idiom: “Kill two birds with one stone!”
Day 3: Tuesday (Full of birds tune, like said)
I’ve gained some weight last dinner, so I had a diet of two meals today. But I just need one hunt. Why? Here’s how:
A pack of squirrels tried to attack me for their meal, so I needed to defend myself. I quickly climbed up a tree, and when they didn’t find me, I spun in the air to attack them. It was great. The spinning motion knocked them till they fainted. There was six squirrels, so I had a big feast.
So now I know that surprise is better than head-first when it is time to fight a group by your own.
原稿